How to solve a problem like Jeeves.
n 1915, the great novelist P.G Wodehouse created a character called REGINALD JEEVES.
Jeeves is an intelligent and infallible valet of Bertie Wooster.
I have already covered the brilliance of Jeeves in the past — Solve It Like Jeeves and There Is Always a Way. Now it’s time for the third installment.
One fine day, Lady Malvern and her twenty-three-year-old son, Lord Pershore (nicknamed Motty), drops at Wooster’s place in NewYork.
Lady Malvern, a writer, is a close pal of Wooster’s rich aunt Agatha.
The purpose of Lady Malvern’s visit is simple.
For a month, she is touring prisons of America to collect the material for her new book. And while she is away, she wants Wooster to take her son in his company.
She assures Wooster that there won’t be any trouble from her son.
‘My son is a home bird, a true vegetarian and teetotaler. Give him a nice book and he will be contented.’ Lady Malvern says while looking at Motty, who is sitting with his mouth nuzzling the walking stick.
Wooster is not in favor to babysit Motty. But he agrees because of Aunt Agatha.
Lady Malvern thanks Wooster, and takes Motty with her to see a few of the sights before her train leaves. She promises Wooster that she will send Motty back early in the afternoon.
That night, upon returning from a social gathering, Wooster asks Jeeves, ‘Lord Pershore gone to bed?’
‘No sir. His lordship has not yet returned.’
‘Not returned? What do you mean?’
‘His Lordship came in shortly after six-thirty, and, having dressed, went out again.’
Then, they hear a thud outside the front door. It was Lord Pershore who fell on the mat. He was in a state of inebriation and grunting in pain.
This was only a teaser.
Nights after nights, Lord Pershore got indulged in reveling parties, eating meat and drinking wine.
Wooster becomes worried. If anything happens bad to Lord Pershore the blame would come on him.
So he confronts Lord Pershore and demands an explanation behind his actions.
And Lord Pershore proudly gives an explanation — ‘The only excitement I get at Middlefold, is when one of the choir-boys is caught sucking chocolate during the sermon. Now I’m in New York for a month, I want to store a few happy memories for the long winter evening.’
Wooster is bewildered.
So he asks Jeeves for help. But Jeeves pays no attention to his sufferings.
And there was a reason behind Jeeves callousness.
Jeeves wasn’t in a favor of Wooster’s pink tie.
‘What’s wrong with the tie?’
‘Too ornate, sir.’
‘Nonsense! A cheerful pink. Nothing more.’
‘Unsuitable, sir.’
‘Jeeves, this is the tie I wear!’
‘Very good, sir.’
Meanwhile, the activities of Lord Pershore continued.
There were also some nights when Lord Pershore came with his bunch of young friends and made hullabaloo till the sun came out.
Finally, Wooster decides to take Lord Pershore with him every night. He thought that by keeping Lord Pershore in his company, he can stop him from getting involved in barmy activities.
But he was wrong.
One night, at a party, and in the presence of Wooster, Lord Pershore started throwing soft-boiled eggs at an electric fan.
Unable to cope up with the silence of Jeeves and madness of Lord Pershore, Wooster decides to go away for a few weeks.
‘Jeeves, I’m going away — tomorrow morning by the first train. I shall go and stop with Mr. Todd in the country.’
‘Do you wish me to accompany you, sir?’
‘No.’
‘Very good, sir’.
But Wooster got bored in the country and came back within a week.
Upon his return, Wooster finds out from Jeeves that Lord Pershore is in prison.
‘Why?’
“He assaulted a constable, sir.’
‘Lord Pershore assaulted a constable!’
‘Yes, sir.’
Wooster becomes worried. What he will explain to Lady Malvern and Aunt Agatha?
But Jeeves assures him, that Lord Pershore will come out before Lady Malvern arrives.
And what if Lord Pershore is still sitting in the prison and Lady Malvern pops in.
‘I should inform her ladyship that his lordship has left for a short visit to Boston.’
‘Why Boston?’
‘Very interesting and respectable center, sir.’
‘Jeeves, I believe you’ve hit it.’
‘I fancy so, sir.’
Things went on comfortably and peacefully for a week.
Then came the bomb.
Lady Malvern turns up while Lord Pershore is still in prison.
‘I hope Motty wasn’t in your way, Mr. Wooster?’ she asks.
‘Rather not! Great pals. Hit it off splendidly.’
‘You were his constant companion, then?’
And Wooster presented a pile of lies on how he and Lord Pershore had spent quality of time together.
‘We had a great time, I was awfully sorry when he went away to Boston.’
But Lady Malvern threw a dart and busted Wooster’s balloon of lies.
She tells Wooster, that she visited Blackwell’s Island prison yesterday to secure some material for her book, and saw Lord Pershore in a striped suit, sitting beside a pile of stones with a hammer in his hands.
‘So this is how you have looked after my poor, dear boy? So this is how you have abused my trust?
Before Wooster can utter any word, a soft voice spoke. It was Jeeves.
He explained to Lady Malvern, that Mr. Wooster was unaware of Lord Pershore’s movements as he was away, visiting a friend in the country. And it was him who told Mr. Wooster that Lord Pershore is in Boston.
Why?
‘It might have been hard for Mr. Wooster to believe that his lordship had gone to prison voluntarily.’
‘Voluntarily?’ Lady Malvern goggles at Jeeves.
And then Jeeves played his trump card.
He tells Lady Malvern that Lord Pershore wanted to help her out. As she was writing a book on American prison, Lord Pershore decided to make a personal examination into the prison system of the country- from within.
Lady Malvern’s anger melts away and she apologizes to Wooster before leaving.
On the breakfast table, a happy Wooster asks Jeeves if he needed anything.
Jeeves replies that he needed fifty dollars to clear the debt of honor.
‘I owe it to Lord Pershore.’ Jeeves says.
‘You owe Lord Pershore fifty dollars?’
And Jeeves narrated the incident that had put Lord Pershore behind the bars.
On the night when Lord Pershore got arrested, Jeeves met him on the street.
Being in an inebriated state, Lord Pershore mistook Jeeves for a friend of his. Sensing an opportunity, Jeeves took the liberty of wagering him fifty dollars that he would not punch a passing policeman in the eye.
Lord Pershore accepted the bet and won it.
Wooster takes out his pocket-book and counts out a hundred.
‘Take this, Jeeves, fifty isn’t enough.’
So Jeeves had used his power of creativity and freed his master from the clutches of Lord Pershore. He also saved him from the fire of Lady Malvern and Aunt Agatha.
But what happened to that pink tie?
Well, Wooster requested Jeeves to burn it down.
And Jeeves did it happily.
